Going through this checklist without a genuine interest in the speaker is just performative, and note that the speaker can tell the difference. Ultimately, active listening is more of an attitude than a technique. For example, instead of asking, “So are you feeling sad about your dog being sick?” try “How did you feel when you heard that your dog fell ill?” By inviting the speaker to elaborate through such open-ended questions, active listeners communicate that they don’t assume how the speaker thinks/feels, but rather are sincerely interested in hearing more from the speaker. In the spirit of nonjudgement, active listening can be as simple as switching out yes-no questions with open-ended ones. Instead, active listeners make the speaker feel as though they are trying to help rather than win an argument. This does not mean you have to agree with everything the speaker says. Remember that one of the key tenets of active listening is non-judgment. It’s okay to not fill every second be comfortable with holding silence. But more often than not, people just want to be heard, rather than to hear your advice. Sometimes, it’s very useful to come up with responses in seconds (debaters may relate). One research suggests paraphrasing in conversations act as a kind of “tacit endorsement of the speaker's message” which may increase the sense of closeness or immediacy between the listener and speaker.Īctive listeners defer their thinking and judgments.ĭo you ever catch yourself trying to come up with what to say next while you’re listening? Most of us are very uncomfortable with not having an immediate reply at hand we want to fill the silence with words. This gives the speaker time to think back on what they have just shared and confirm whether you have properly understood it. In addition, you can try taking your listening skills to another level by paraphrasing, summarizing, and reflecting back what the speaker is saying without necessarily adding your opinions (“So what I hear you say is…” or “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are feeling…”). Like nonverbal cues, short verbal affirmations (“mhm,” “I see,” “right”) can also help the speaker feel heard. ![]() Subtly reflecting back the speaker’s body language or posture is probably a sign that you are keenly observing.Īctive listeners provide affirmative feedback. Studies show that we nonverbally mimicry each other subconsciously, particularly those we like. We pick up nonverbal cues, such as nodding and leaning forward, as signals that the listener is paying attention to the conversation. Most likely, you feel more encouraged to speak when someone nods at what you’re saying. So what does active listening look like in conversations? Here are some key characteristics of an active listener:Īctive listeners demonstrate that they are listening through nonverbal cues. Though active listening was initially discussed in the context of counseling, the value of active listening in everyday conversations and interactions is becoming increasingly acknowledged. ![]() Farson first developed the concept in 1957, they believed that active listening was integral to the growth of the individual’s self-image and positive relationships people who are actively listened to become more emotionally mature, more open, and less defensive. In contrast, active listeners direct their full attention to the speaker and listen in a nonjudgmental way. You recognize that there is something being thrown at you, but you don’t really process it. Hearing or passive listening merely involves sound waves bouncing off your eardrums. ![]() You may have heard it said that hearing is not the same as listening. Have you recently been able to share something important to you in a safe, nonjudgmental space? And in turn, have you provided a listening ear to someone else? I am sure I’m not the only one who has experienced people scroll through their phones during conversations because they can “listen to you at the same time!” or a friend talk about themselves immediately after you share something deeply personal. When is the last time you felt heard? I mean, properly listened to, as though the listener was genuinely interested in what you had to say - not about the weather, some work-related project or the last Manchester United win. “Most people never listen.” - Ernest Hemingway
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |